A Place in My Heart
by Steffie93
Summary: McSwarek/McCollins. Following on from the end of 4x09. Where does Andy go from here? Why can't she get Sam out of her head? How will Nick react after their night together? Who does she love? A look inside Andy's head.
1. Chapter 1

**Picks up where 4x09 left off. **

**Please leave a review so I know whether to write more!**

***Disclaimer***** I do not own Rookie Blue!**

Andy watched as Nick rolled to the edge of the bed and swung his feet onto the floor.

'I can't believe you just said that', he accused of her. He turned his head back to look at her and sighed.

Andy rolled onto her front and buried her face in the pillow. She could not have made it any more awkward if she tried.

She was happy. From the moment she had seen Nick leaning against the wall outside her apartment last night, she hadn't really stopped smiling. He was such a genuinely nice guy. She knew that. And he clearly hadn't been afraid to tell her – and show her – how he felt about her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt her skin come alive at a man's touch. Not since Sam, anyway.

But Andy couldn't help the feeling that she was doing something wrong. As they'd hurried into her apartment, their lips never leaving each other's, stumbling over coat stands and smashing vases, she felt alive. But there was a part of her that couldn't shake the feeling that she shouldn't be doing it. She tried not to let it show on her face, and lost herself in the moment instead.

She remembered the feel of Nick's sculpted chest beneath her fingertips as he'd pushed her backwards onto the sofa. The smooth planes of his chest and the way he'd shivered as she stroked him. But it was too smooth, and his hair too light, his hands too soft, his lips were passionate but not urgent, and he forced his tongue into her mouth gently to explore. She missed the fire of excitement that used to burn in her stomach, and the weakness in her knees that only Sam could give her. She remembered smiling against Nick's lips, which he'd enjoyed. She didn't want him to know that she wasn't smiling at him. But she couldn't help noticing the differences.

The sex was nice enough. He'd run his hands over he body greedily, soaking up the shape of her breasts and the planes of her stomach. He's kissed his way down her neck and she'd responded involuntarily to the feel of his tongue on her skin. Nick was attentive; there was no denying that, and when he'd entered her she'd forgotten all about Sam, and could only think of how amazing he felt inside her. She arched her back into him an disappeared into the moment.

But it wasn't electric between them. He made her feel safe, and he'd made her laugh. They'd practically destroyed her living room on their way in and she truly didn't mind. Andy was enjoying being wanted. It made her feel sexy, and powerful and the glint in her eyes was real as Nick had nudged her nose with his and planted a kiss on her lips, hovering over her on the sofa. She was happy.

* * *

They'd moved to the bedroom at some point in the night and led side-by-side, panting and giggling. It felt natural, but it didn't feel normal. Andy tried to put Sam out of her mind, and fell asleep with her body pressed up against Nick, her head on his shoulder and her arm slung across his chest. It felt good.

The next morning she's awoken to the warmth of his body and the sound of his breath against her hair. For a moment she forgot where she was and what had happened. She poked Nick awake and smiled as he raised his head and pressed a gentle kiss against her lips.

'Morning Beautiful' he said. She smiled again and returned his kiss with more strength, trying to express her happiness through the urgency with which her tongue sought his out. They fell deeper into the moment as her rolled her over, leaning on top of her and nibbling at her earlobe.

'That was the best night since Sam…' she'd mumbled, only to be cut off by Nick.

'You're really gonna bring him up right now?' he'd exclaimed, and rolled off her.

'I can't believe you just said that' he continued.

She'd rolled her face into her pillow, and that's where she stayed for a while.

'Andy?'

'I'm sorry', she started, lifting her head and turning to face him. 'I just…I wanted you to know that I don't regret last night'.

'And you thought the best way to do that was talk about your ex, in bed?' he replied.

'Yeah well my head is in a weird place right now Nick. I know what you said last night, about Gail, and not caring. But I meant what I said too. I like you. I mean….i _really_ like you. But I'm not ready for sniggers and gossip about how long we've been seeing each other, and whether we cheated on Gail. I can't handle everyone in the office thinking I'm a bitch for stealing my friend's boyfriend. I'm not like that Nick!' Andy babbled, losing her cool. 'And then there's the glares I'm gonna get from Sam, and the smug little smile from Cruz….and I haven't even _told _Traci that I like you!'

'Andy…'

'No, let me finish' she interjected. 'Last night was amazing. But I still need some time! I have this conflict going on in my mind that I can't ignore. Sam is still in my head, as much as I don't want him to be. I need to think, to work out what to tell everyone. It's all such a mess! And yesterday was awful' she cried, 'This is such bad timing'.

Nick drew her into his arms and stroked her hair.

'Andy, I love you,' he said simply. She raised her eyes to look him in the face. 'I know it's gonna be hard, and people will talk. But I honestly don't care!' he paused. 'You are the most important person to me right now, and I'm gonna help you through this as much as I can. You need space, I'll give it to you. You need time, you can have that too. I'm just glad that I got to spend one night with you at least, before you separate us!' he grinned, which made Andy blush.

She ran her eyes across his lips before meeting his stare. She kissed him again, slowly at first, and then more aggressively until they both had to pull away for air.

'Thank you', she said. 'I really needed to hear that.'

He turned and bumped himself off the bed, heading for the shower.

* * *

Andy sat up, the sheets, still rumpled from their exploits, wrapped loosely around her. She sighed. There was so much running through her mind. She knew she liked Nick, she'd known it for a while. But she'd been unable to get the thought out of her head that one day Sam might change his mind. She'd told him she knew when to quit, that day in the parking lot outside 15, and she could have sworn she saw some sparkle leave his eyes. But he was with Marlo now, and he hadn't shown any sign of giving her up. So why couldn't Andy move on, like she'd told herself she should. Like everyone around her had told her to do. Sam was just a sticking point in her heart. He has a hold on her that even she had never imagined anyone could possess. But finally, seeing him happy with Marlo, and having Nick tell her he loved her, she felt like that hold was starting to loosen. That maybe she could start to get over him properly. That maybe things might start to feel more normal without him.

The buzzing of her phone on the dresser next to her brought her out of her trance. She flipped it over and saw the caller ID.

Sam.

He always picked his moments.

* * *

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**All feedback is appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Please leave a review if you'd like to see more**

***Disclaimer* I do not own Rookie Blue!**

Andy hit 'answer' on her phone, sighed, and raised it to her ear.

'Yeah, Sam?' She said.

'McNally, I need you to come down to the station.'

'My shift doesn't start until later, why are you calling so early?' she asked, puzzled.

'We've just got a lead on a big cannabis farm op that's been running for weeks. We need all hands on deck for the raid. So get your butt in her!' he demanded.

'Okay, but S-Sam…' she stuttered.

He hung up.

* * *

'Who was that?' Nick asked, loping in from the bathroom. He hair was wet and drops were running down his face and onto his chest. He stood before her with nothing but a towel around his waist, and she had to admit, he looked good.

'Oh, it was Sam.'

Nick frowned.

'He needs us in for a cannabis farm bust.'

'Us?' he questioned.

'Well, me specifically, but I expect he'll call you too.' She countered

Nick raised his eyebrows and smirked at her. 'We'll see'.

* * *

**30 Minutes later.**

Andy slouched against the lockers as Traci strolled into the locker room. Frowning at her friend she said,

'Andy, hey….I thought you weren't in until later.'

'So did I. I got a wake-up call from Sam. Apparently he needs as many hands as possible on this drugs bust, or something?'

"Really? I thought we had it covered. Oh well, it's his case.' She shrugged and moved to sit next to her friend on the bench.

'Anyway, why are you looking so grumpy? Besides the lack of sleep…' she asked Andy.

'Oh, you know, just a bit of everything.'

Traci raised an eyebrow and pulled her little smile that showed she knew Andy was hiding something.

'Anyone in particular?' she teased.

Andy paused. She took a deep breath.

'I slept with Nick last night.'

Traci's face had shock plastered all over it.

'Oh', she said, 'That was unexpected. Although….you two have been getting close recently. And the way he smiles at you, its like he's got a big secret that only you know.'

'He told me he loves me, Trace. I mean, how is that helpful right now!? My head is such a mess!' Andy ranted.

'Okay, now I really am shocked,' Traci replied. 'Look, Andy…..Nick is a great guy. Yes, it's a little soon after Gail, but you've been different around each other ever since you came back from undercover. I did suspect he had feelings for you, but I didn't know you liked him back? I thought you were still hung up on Swarek?' she asked.

'That's exactly my point Traci! I don't want everyone thinking we've been seeing each other since we came back. I will not lose Gail's friendship – or whatever you can call it with her – because of Nick. I don't cheat Trace!'

'Wow, Andy, calm down. Everything's going to be fine.' She said, gripping Andy's hand. 'You're not a bad person. Sleeping with Gail's ex wasn't your finest hour, but no one needs to find out you slept with him, at least not today. Just take it slowly. Sort your head out. Maybe talk to Gail? She's not going to want to hear it from someone else'

'No. Not gonna happen. That would make things like, a hundred times worse.' Andy panicked.

'Okay, then just pretend that nothing happened last night,' Traci suggested.

'Yeah but Traci, the moment me and Nick are in the same room together it's gonna be obvious. He's had that puppy dog smile slapped on his face from the moment his left this morning. People are gonna know something's up between us!'

'Then ask Oliver if he'll partner you today. Don't go near Nick.' Traci added.

'Its not that simple. Sam's gonna be there.'

'So?'

'So, the moment he looks at me he's gonna know something's different.' Andy said.

'Andy, honey, I know you said you've moved on from him, but this is sounded a lot like you haven't. Sam's probably not even going to be looking at you today. He's got his hands full organising the raid. And Marlo's around, he'll be staring at her.' Traci argued.

Andy sighed, 'I can still feel him, you know.'

'What?'

'Sam. I can feel it when he's looking at me. It's like he's burning holes in my back with his eyes.' Andy moaned.

'Is that a good thing?'

'No, Trace! It's a frustrating thing. He's always there! How am I supposed to get over him if he's parading his new girlfriend in my face, and glaring at me every time I stand an inch too close to Nick?'

Traci shrugged.

'You know what he did yesterday?' Andy continued, 'When he was taking my statement after Christian was abducted….he asked me why I was at the park with Nick. And the way he said it, it was like I'd invited Nick just to spite Sam, like I was trying to hurt him.'

'You mean he was jealous?'

'No. Well, I don't know. Maybe. He just seemed bitter. Like her was making it personal. That it was my fault Christian got abducted, because I was too busy with Nick.' She paused, 'It really hurt, Traci.'

Traci raised a hand to rub Andy's shoulder, and pulled her into a hug.

'You have to ignore him Honey, otherwise you're going to end up in such a state. Talk to Oliver. Just try and get through the day. Then later, I'll come over and we can talk properly. How does that sound?'

Andy stayed quiet.

'Huh?' Traci probed.

'Okay', Andy relented, and stood up, making her way to the parade room. 'Thanks Trace' she threw over her shoulder with a smile.

* * *

'Is something wrong, McNally?'

Andy froze. 'Why do you say that?' she asked.

Marlo shrugged.

'I dunno, you just seemed a little off your game today, at the raid.'

'No, everything's fine. I'm fine.' Andy replied, trying to brush her off.

'Good' Marlo said, 'Hey Andy, I just wanted to say…..i know things have been a little tense between everybody recently, and we haven't really spoken in a while. But I need to check, you're not going to tell anyone about my condition, are you?'

Andy turned to face her.

'I know we don't get on all the time Marlo, but I made you a promise.' With that, Andy walked out of the room. They'd been observing an interview between Sam and a suspect they'd caught at the raid earlier. Oliver hadn't been able to swap partners but Cruz volunteered. It wasn't ideal by anyone's standards, but it was better than spending the day with Nick, trying to forget about last night.

* * *

Andy changed quickly in the locker room, sent Traci a text to meet at Andy's condo at 10pm and headed out. Nick was waiting for her.

'Hey,' he called.

'Hi.' Andy was tense.

'You don't seem very happy?' he questioned.

'It's been a long day Nick. I'm tired.'

'Okay, well I'll drive you home.' He said with a smile.

'No, really, I'm fine. I'm just gonna get a cab. Traci's coming over. I need some girl time.'

'Oh', he muttered, dropping the smile from his face. 'I can still drive you home, Andy,' he tried.

'Honestly Nick, I just need to be on my own right now.'

'Okay.' He said simply. 'I'll see you tomorrow then?'

'Yeah, see you tomorrow' she replied, and walked away, relieved.

* * *

Outside, Andy hailed a cab, but before she could get in it she heard a familiar voice call her name.

'McNally'…..'Can I talk to you for a sec?'

She turned.

It was Sam.

She walked a few steps in his direction, resignedly. He closed the distance between them quickly, standing just a bit too close. He started,

'Sorry, I know you're headed home. I just had to get something off my chest.'

'Shoot, Sam' she said offhandedly.

'Are you okay?' he questioned, lifting a hand to her cheek and raising her face to meet his eye.

'I'm fine, Sam. Just tired' she said, brushing his hand off. 'What do you want?'

'I just needed to ask. Is there….Are you….Andy, are you….seeing someone?' he spluttered.

Andy looked at her feet. He raised her face to his once again. Knowing her eyes would give her away, she sighed.

'Sam…..it's none of your business.' The cab driver beeped behind her. 'I have to go' she said, starting to turn.

Sam put his hand on her shoulder. 'Wait,' he said, ' I'll drive you home'.

Andy looked at him, chills running down her back from his touch. She closed her eyes.

'Okay' she whispered.

He smiled, one of his dimple smiles that almost choked her. She couldn't understand how he could still silence her with one touch, after all this time. And she didn't know why she was willing to take a lift from him and not from Nick. Maybe part of her needed to talk to Sam, get it out of the way.

* * *

He drew her towards his truck, his hand on the small of her back.

The drive to her house was quiet and awkward, but the truck felt warm and safe, and familiar.

She got out when he stopped the car, reaching back into the foot well to reclaim her purse. She turned and he was right there, in front of her.

'Sam…why are you doing this?' she asked shrugging one shoulder.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed heavily.

'I'm just driving you home, McNally.'

'You know that's not what I mean.'

'Andy…..I…I just want you to be happy.' He said, softly. She could feel his breath in her face, he'd moved closer.

'I am happy' she whispered.

'With him?' Sam asked.

Andy closed her eyes again. He knew. She could tell.

'Sam…..its complicated.'

'Uh huh' he responded. 'Real complicated.' Sarcasm crept into his voice.

'Sam, **don't**. You don't get to come around her and do this to me. I'm moving on. I'm _trying_. You don't get to question me when _every day_ I have to watch you with her. Laughing and smiling and kissing her, in my face. I deserve to be happy too.' She felt a tear role down her cheek as she said the last part. She looked are her feet, trying to hide her emotion from him. She heard him sigh.

'I'm sorry', he said, 'And I'm sorry I was hard on you yesterday. It was wrong.'

'It hurt Sam. It felt like…like you wanted to hurt me, for having a life.'

'Andy…'

'No, that's what it felt like!' she accused him, 'like you could be happy, while I'm supposed to just sit at home every night, trying not to think about you, with her. Trying to work out if I like Nick. Trying to stop loving you and start loving him.' She was crying now, her cheeks turned red and she sobbed. 'You can't do this to me anymore, Sam!'

He pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest. She tried to resist, but it was pointless. She could hear his heart beating fast beneath her cheek. She relaxed into him, still sobbing, her breath gradually slowing.

She pulled back.

'I need you to go Sam.' He looked shocked. 'If you're gonna be with her, then you can't be here with me. So just go. Get in your truck and go.'

He brushed past her and headed round to the driver's side. She held her breath as she heard the engine start and waited for him to pull away.

'I really am sorry, Andy' he said out the window, just before he drove off.

She sighed, wiping her eyes. She headed up the stairs to her condo, running over what had happened in her mind. She unlocked the door and crashed on her sofa. She couldn't get one thought out of her head. When he'd hugged her, the feel of his arms around her, rubbing her back gently. It had felt like home.

Tears rolled down her cheeks once more. She closed her eyes, and let them fall.

* * *

**Let me know what you think by leaving a review. **

**I wasn't sure where to end this chapter, but I hope it's alright. A lot more drama to come in the next one!**


	3. Chapter 3

Andy was startled by a knock on the door. She wiped her eyes and checked her watch. 22:15. Traci. She shouted that the door was opened and waited for her friend to appear.

Traci took one look at Andy and sighed.

'What happened?' she asked.

'Sam.'

That was all she got back from her friend. She waited for Andy to say more.

'He dropped me home. And I lost it with him! He got all in my face about Nick and I cried and basically told him exactly what I was thinking about him, and Nick, and Marlo. I got angry. But I was still crying. It was weird. But anyway, he hugged me and I just…it felt so right. So I told him to go.'

'He hugged you, so you told him to go?' Traci questioned, taking it all in.

'Yeah, I told him he couldn't be with me _and _her, so he left. Like he always does.' Another tear rolled down Andy's cheek.

'That's good Andy. I think you did the right thing.'

'I did?'

'You gave him an ultimatum.'

"Yeah but it won't work. I know Sam. It won't change anything. He'll just carry on with Marlo like it never happened.'

'And would that be a bad thing?' Traci asked.

'Yes, and No.' Andy replied. 'I don't know.'

They talked some more about Sam, and Nick. Then about Traci and Steve. And finally Traci had to go. She told Andy to get some sleep, and be brave. Tomorrow at work was going to be awkward.

* * *

Andy was tired the next morning, she hadn't really slept well, but she hadn't expected to. She groaned as her alarm went off, snapping it off hastily. It was early. She wanted to go for a run to clear her head, which is what she did. The park was quiet, most people still in bed, but there were some milling about eating breakfast or jogging. She wasn't alone.

She found some comfort in the crisp air as is brushed past her skin, stinging her slightly because of the cold. She ran for a while before heading home to shower and change, her thoughts not much clearer than they'd been before. She'd decided to take Traci's advice and go about her day as if nothing had happened with Nick or Sam. She was going to take some space.

She bumped into Nick as she walked out the locker room. He smiled and fell into step next to her.

'I'm gonna ride with Cruz again today.' She said.

He looked hurt. 'Why?'

'Space', was all she said in the way of an explanation, and quickened her pace. She chose a seat next to Dov in the middle of the parade room. She flashed him a smile before turning to listen to Frank at the front of the room. She was aware that Nick was watching her from his position behind her, and she assumed Sam was in his usual spot by the door too, but she didn't look. Today, she didn't want to know. Frank began his speech about their task for the day. Speeding fines and outstanding warrants, or something like that, she wasn't really listening. He ended with his usual line of 'Serve, Protect…yadah yadah', she'd heard it before. She turned and stepped toward Cruz, who smiled.

'We're partnered again today,' Andy said.

'No we're not.' Marlo remarked, 'you're with Collins.'

'No, I asked Best if I could ride with you, he said it was fine.' Andy replied, slowly.

'Well I guess someone changed his mind,' she said, and slid past Andy.

Andy turned and locked eyes with Nick who grinned sheepishly. She sighed and hung her head. So much for space!

She noticed that someone was watching her, from the corner of her eye. It was Sam. It was always Sam. He looked peeved that she'd been paired with Collins again, annoyed even. Andy moved to leave the room, bumping Sam's shoulder softly and accidentally as she went. He reached out and grabbed her arm.

'Andy…..are you okay with this?' he gestured between Nick and her.

'Leave it Sam', she muttered and shook off his arm.

'Hey!' she heard Nick call, and the sound of his footsteps catching up to them. 'Is he bothering you?' he asked about Sam.

'No Nick, just leave it,' she implored him.

Geezz, it was being in the middle of a playground squabble, exactly what she didn't need!

* * *

She continued out through the bullpen. One of them followed her. She felt his hand on her arm again. Shivers ran down her spine.

Sam.

'Andy, about last night…'he started.

'I don't want to do this at work, Sam. Just let me be, please.' She tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let her go.

'Look at me,' he was saying. She resisted for a while but finally met his eye. 'You don't have to let him make this difficult for you.' Sam said.

She gasped, shocked.

'HIM!? He's not making this difficult Sam. You're the one that's doing that!' she raged and pulled away, heading for the exit. He followed her, taking her hand and dragging her into an interview room. They weren't alone. Nick had followed.

'Let go of her.' Nick warned.

'You don't get to talk to me like that' Sam retorted.

'Please don't' Andy tried to calm them both.

'This is not about rank, and you know it' Nick exclaimed. 'Andy doesn't want you pestering her anymore'.

'That's not what it felt like last night' Sam quipped.

'What?' Nick said, surprised.

'When I drove her home, and she told me she loved me.'

Andy gulped. Nick turned his eyes on her. She hung her head, trying to block out the sound of them fighting. They threw their remarks at each other for a few more minutes, before Andy reacted.

'Enough!' she shouted. 'Both of you. Give it a rest!'

'Nick, I don't need you standing up for me, I can handle myself.'

'And you!' she said, turning to Sam, 'I am _not _your girlfriend. You don't have the right to get angry if I see Nick. It's **none** of your business!'

She sighed.

'Yeah, go take care of your own girlfriend.' Nick interjected. Sam looked riled. He backed Nick up against the wall and tried to pin his arm above his head. But Nick was just as strong and fought back.

'Sam!' Andy shouted. 'Stop!'

He paused, turning to face her. 'He has a point' she said. 'Why don't you spend a little less time worrying about my love life, and a little more worrying about yours.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' he questioned.

'I might not be perfect, but neither is Marlo. Maybe you should work on that, instead of interfering with Nick' Andy sniped, and pushed past them both. She gripped the handle of the door and yanked it open.

'I know the situation isn't perfect right now, and I'm sorry for that. But you're gonna have to get over this, because we can't work together until you do,' she threw over her shoulder.

She left the room. Sam threw one last glare at Nick before following after her.

'What did you mean about Marlo?' he questioned after her as she walked away.

A crowd had formed outside the room, Marlo was among them. She flashed a glare at Andy as she walked by.

'It's not my place to say.' Andy replied, without stopping.

* * *

Out in the yard, Andy marched toward her squad car. She'd wait for Nick there, she decided, hoping he'd give her a chance to cool off before he headed out to join her.

'Andy!' she heard called after her. She turned and saw Marlo walking her way.

'You were going to tell him, weren't you?' she bit at Andy.

'Marlo I made you a promise,' Andy reiterated.

'Well I say that's bullshit,' Cruz replied. 'You fixed it so this would happen, I know you did. Now Sam knows something's up. You've been trying to cause problems between us since the moment you got back!' Marlo was inching closer and closer to Andy, shouting in her face, losing it.

'That is not true!' Andy defended herself. 'I have been nothing but civil since I got back from UC. I told you I would keep your secret, even though it took all of my strength not to run and tell Sam the moment I found out. And to be honest, who would have blamed me!' Andy returned.

Marlo growled under her breath, she looked crazed. 'He is mine now, and it doesn't matter how many times you try, or what you tell him, he is never going back to you.' She exclaimed.

'I haven't told him _anything_.' Andy said, pushing Marlo back. 'I gave up Marlo. I tried, but I know when I'm beaten. But I can't just stop my feelings for him, that's not my fault. Though I swear to God, if you don't back off right now and give me one good reason why I shouldn't tell him about your Bi-Polar, then so help me I'll do it. I don't care anymore! I am so fed up of everyone leaning on me, and tugging me this way and that. I can't do it anymore.' Andy finished, breathing heavily. 'He deserves to know.'

It was suddenly very quiet. Andy looked around her. Marlo was a few feet away, a pained expression on her face. Surrounding her was most of their friends, Dov and Chloe, Oliver, Nick, Traci, and Sam.

'We heard shouting'. It was Traci who spoke first.

Andy barely heard her. She was too busy watching the interaction between Sam and Marlo.

'You have bi-polar?' he questioned of her.

She nodded slowly, a tear escaping down her face.

'Why didn't you tell me?' he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

'Because I didn't want to scare you off.' She replied.

He huffed. Andy didn't stay to see more. She turned and walked quickly to the yard's exit, reaching the corner and disappearing from sight. Nick moved to go after her, but Traci put a hand on his arm and told him to stay. She'd go.

* * *

Traci found Andy a few hundred metres down the road, in an alley. She was slumped on the floor, hugging her knees, with her face buried in them.

Traci sat beside her, quiet at first. Then she spoke.

'Andy?'

No answer.

'It's okay you know,' Traci continued.

'How is it okay?' Andy cried, 'I've made it so much worse! Cruz will probably never speak to me again. And I promised her, I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. I feel awful Trace.'

'It's not your fault. If she didn't want Sam to find out like that then she should have told him herself. And he was bound to find out at some point!'

'Yeah, but from me? Why did I do that!?' Andy scolded herself.

'Hey, it might work in your favour..' Traci joked.

'I doubt that' Andy replied bluntly. 'He's probably gonna hate me even more now.'

'He doesn't hate you. You saw that for yourself last night.'

'No, but he should.' Andy said.

* * *

A while later Andy plucked up the courage to head back to division. She hurried to the locker room and washed her face, hoping not to run into anyone. She stepped up to Frank's office, and cleared it with him to take the day off. She couldn't face it. He's heard about the incident outside and agreed that her head wasn't in the game today, and that she should go home to sort herself out. He wasn't impressed, that much was plain to see.

* * *

Andy spent the day lounging on her couch, drinking coffee and mulling over what had happened that morning. It couldn't have gone worse. But she took solace in what Traci had said, that Sam would have found out eventually anyway. But it still felt wrong that she'd broken her promise to Cruz. She was watching a moving when there was a knock on the door. She approached slowly and looked through the peephole.

Sam.

What the hell was he doing here? Shouldn't he be off somewhere with Marlo, fighting, or worse still, comforting her and telling her it would be okay, he didn't mind, he'd help her. Listening while she told him everything, and still not leaving her side.

But no. He was outside her door.

'McNally?' he called. 'I know you're in there, I can see the lights on.'

She stayed still and quiet, watching him through the hole.

'I'm gonna wait here until you open the door. I need to talk to you,' he said matter of factly.

She didn't move.

'I can hear you breathing.'

_Shit, _she thought.

'I don't wanna hear it Sam. Whatever it is. I can't handle anymore shouting for one day.' She said.

'I'm not here to shout at you.'

'Then why are you here?'

'Are we really gonna do this through the door, for all your neighbours to hear?'

She thought about it for a moment. He was right. She turned the handle and walked away, so he could let himself in.

He found her in the kitchen, cradling a coffee. Her hair was wet and she was wearing her pyjamas, like that night he's dropped her stuff round after her suspension. He sighed.

'Can I have a cup?' he asked.

She shrugged and moved out the way, so he helped himself.

They sat awkwardly next to each other on her sofa.

'I'm sorry,' he said, finally.

'Why are you apologising?' she questioned, 'I'm the one that's in the wrong. I never should have said anything about Marlo's illness when there was a chance people could be listening. I feel terrible.' Andy said.

He smiled. 'It doesn't matter.'

'It matters to me,' she replied, placing her mug onto the coffee table and shuffling nervously in her seat.

Sam shuffled too. Closer. He rested his hand on her knee and said,

'It's fine, honestly McNally.'

'How can it be?'

'Because I think I already knew.'

'What?' Andy exclaimed.

'I found some of her pills a while back, I didn't ask her what they were for, but I looked it up. I've been watching her, making sure she's okay at work, checking for mood swings or symptoms. But she's been fine. It's not a problem.' Sam said.

'So why are you here?' Andy asked.

'To make sure you're okay.'

'Shouldn't you be checking on her, not me?'

'She's a big girl, she can look after herself.' He said.

'And I can't?' Andy replied.

'No, I just meant that…..I'd rather look after you than her.'

'Sam.' She pleaded. 'I meant what I said last night.

'That you love me?'

Andy blushed. 'You picked up on that?'

He nodded and smiled one of his dimply smiles back at her. God he looked cute.

'That's not what I meant,' she said, when she'd gotten her breath back to speak.

She was becoming more and more aware that his hand was still on her leg. Her heart beat faster. He leaned in closer.

'You can't be with her, and….' She gasped, trying to catch her breath. Sam was slowly moving his hand higher and higher up her leg. She lost her train of thought. She met his eye as he raised an eyebrow, gesturing for her to continue.

'…be with me.' She said.

He traced his hand further up her leg until his fingers were resting on the waistband of her pants.

'Sam!' she said, taking hold of his wrist. 'What are you doing?' she panted.

'Caring for you,' he said, releasing his hand from her grip and trailing a finger up her side, tracing her outline, before bringing it to rest on her lips.

'Tell me to stop.' He whispered.

Every inch of her skin was on fire. She tried to speak, to tell him it was wrong, to remind him of Marlo. But she couldn't. She didn't want to.

She took hold of the finger hovering by her lips and pulled him in closer, twisting as she did so she was facing him. Their lips connected with such ferocity it should have hurt. But it didn't. All Andy could think about was wanting more. He bit her lip and teased her with his tongue. She could feel the passion in his lips, moving expertly against hers.

'Be with me' she whispered against his lips when she had the chance. Sam lifted his head to see into her eyes. Her big, beautiful, bambi eyes, full of emotion, begging him. He needed no more encouragement that that. He slipped his arm behind her back and gently moved her down the couch so she was on her back underneath him. He pulled his lips back from hers, giving them both a chance to breathe. His eyes scanned her body furiously, absorbing every detail, as hers did the same. He ripped his shirt over his head before leaning back and raising Andy up to do the same. They lost their pants before she knew it as his hands travelled up and down across her chest and her legs. Stopping only to stroke her in the most intimate places. His mouth was glued to hers, teasing her, coaxing her tongue into his mouth. Sam broke the kiss to nibble her ear and place kisses down her neck. She groaned with pleasure as he worked, fingers at one end, lips at the other.

For a moment her mind wondered, back to the previous night, to Nick, the way he'd made her feel. It had happened in the same place, right where she was now, with Sam. But it was nothing. In this moment she could see that. She could feel the chemistry between her and Sam. The way he hovered before kissing her, drawing out the buzz before his lips met hers. The feel of his chest with the scattering of hair, the way his calloused fingers lightly scratched her skin as he trailed them across her. All of it. Electric.

She put Nick to the back of her thoughts. Sam scooped her up and carried her through to the bedroom, never once letting his lips leave hers. She smiled against him. He placed her on the bed gently and began working his way down her body with his mouth, kissing and licking until she was writhing under him.

'Sammy' she begged, 'Please!'

He grinned up at her before silencing her with a kiss and thrusting inside of her.

They came together, then collapsed beside each other, panting.

Andy snuggled up to his side and found the familiar spot to place her head, smiling contentedly. He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes as she drifted off to sleep. She thought she heard him say one last thing before her eyes closed.

'I love you too, McNally.'

* * *

**Ahhhhhh had so much fun writing this! Sorry if it's a bit soppy. Leave a review, let me know what you think, good or bad. McSwarek is winning, but will McCollins make a come back? Tell me your ideas and I'll try and include them in the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much for all your reviews. I read them all, it means a lot. I'm trying to keep everyone happy with the balance between McSwarek and McCollins, but it's a little difficult as you can imagine. I hope I'm doing the story justice. **

**Leave me a review, tell me your thoughts, I'll include any ideas where I can!**

**Thank you to 'Misfits 1-3' for part of the idea for this chapter. **

***Disclaimer* I do not own Rookie Blue.**

Andy rolled over and spread her arm out across the sheets. Cold. Sam was gone. She sat bolt up right. Maybe he was in the kitchen getting coffee? He could have gone for the paper. He wouldn't have left, surely?

She threw a t-shirt over her head and padded out of the bedroom. No Sam. She sighed and plonked herself down on the sofa. He'd left her a note. A simple sheet of paper, folded, with her name scrawled on the front in his familiar messy script. She reached for it, but couldn't bring herself to read it. She didn't want to know what it said.

A sadness crept up from the pit of her stomach. He'd come to her house, forced himself back into her heart and her bed, just when she was starting to get over him. Just when Nick was making it easier, was making her forget him, slowly. How could he do that, and then just leave. Wasn't it her that was supposed to run away?

She plucked up the courage and opened the note.

_Andy, _

_I am so sorry to do this to you._

_It almost broke my heart to leave you sleeping in your bed this morning. _

_You are so beautiful. _

_But I had to go. Last night was a mistake._

_Marlo deserves better than this. And so does Nick. _

_I'm sure you're feeling guilty, and I don't want to make that worse. _

_We have to get our shit in order. _

_I'll see you at work,_

_Sam._

As she read her heart crumpled a little bit more. A mistake. He'd said last night was a mistake. How could he think that? It had felt so right, so natural, easy. She couldn't bring herself to deny it. And yet he had a point. What about Nick? She'd slept with two guys in two days. That was so not Andy. She didn't want to hurt either of them, especially not Nick. He was such a nice guy. But how could she not hurt him? She was gonna have to choose at some point. Was last night her choice?

Andy dropped her head into her hands and breathed heavily. It was gonna be hard, but she had to talk to Nick.

* * *

Andy got to the station early. She was waiting in the gym when she heard Nick's voice in the corridor outside. She opened the door and called him over. His face lit up at the sight of her and he gave her one of his enormous smiles. She took his hand and dragged him in to the room behind her.

'Sit down, Nick' she said, shuffling uncomfortably on the bench, waiting for him to join her. He sat and turned to face her, a worried look crossing his eyes.

'What's wrong Andy?' he asked of her.

'I need to talk to you, about the other night.'

'It was amazing' he said with a smile.

'Yeah,' she said and smiled tentatively, the thought of his hands on her body crossing her mind. She blinked and shook her head to rid her thoughts of the image.

'Was it a mistake?' she asked him. Immediately he looked hurt.

'A mistake? Why do you ask that?' he replied, confused.

'I just need to know if you regret what we did? I have a lot going on in my head right now, most of it involving you, and Sam. I need to make some sense of it, starting with whether you think we made a mistake.'

'Andy, the other night was perfect. I wouldn't take it back for anything. We're good together,' he implored of her, raising his hand to cup her face.

'Don't Nick,' she said leaning away from him.

He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.

'This can't happen,' she continued, 'not until you talk things through with Gail. I know you don't want to, I don't blame you! She can be a rottweiler at times. But nothing can happen between us until you talk to her. We're both gonna need time.' She said.

'You want me to tell her about us?' he asked.

'No.' she practically barked at him. Taking a breath and calming herself down, she said 'Ask her how she feels, tell her if you don't want to be with her, once and for all. But don't tell her about us. That has to come from me. I just need to wait for the right moment.'

He didn't look convinced.

'Andy, I've already told her its over between us.'

'Tell her again,' Andy said, getting up to leave.

'Wait,' he called after her. 'Why now? Why today? Did something happen Andy?'

'No, I just want to sort out this mess. I can't live like this.'

'You're lying to me,' he probed, turning her round to face him. 'Tell me what happened Andy.'

'Nothing,' she tried. He just stared at her, not giving up.

She caved, 'Sam came round last night.' Nick's eyes widened.

'What did he want?' he asked.

'Nothing, just leave it Nick,' she said, shaking him off and rushing to the door. She was gone, leaving Nick lost for words in the middle of the room.

* * *

Andy heard shouting from the yard as she made her way outside at the end of her shift. _Not again, _she thought to herself, hurrying around the corner to see what was happening. A crowd was gathering, but even through the sea of bodies she could make out Sam throwing punch after punch at Nick, who let them fall before letting his own fist make contact with Sam. Sam recoiled instinctively, tripping as he did, falling flat on his back. Nick didn't pause before landing a deafening kick to Sam's ribs. He groaned and rolled on the floor. It went quiet for a moment. Sam made his way back to his feet and was about to lunge again for Nick, when Oliver barged his way through the crowd and took hold of his friend by the arms, drawing them behind his back. Some of the other officers took that as their cue to restrain Nick too. Andy was glued to the spot, unable to move, unable to speak. She couldn't quite believe what she had just seen. They were still shouting at each other, as Oliver tried to calm them down.

'You are unbelievable, Swarek. You make me sick!' Nick threw at him.

'Ha!' Sam retaliated, 'You're a fine one to talk!' Sam quipped, 'Why don't you take a long hard look in the mirror before you accuse me of cheating.'

People were whispering, looking around to see if anyone knew what he meant. Nick's eyes sought Andy out in the crowd. He spotted her, leant against the wall a distance away from them. She looked defeated.

'You slept with her, didn't you?' Nick asked of Sam.

Sam smirked.

'You slept with her too,' was all that Sam said in reply, before shaking Oliver off and limping over to his truck. Andy watched him climb inside and start the engine, before tearing out of the car park. Her eyes travelled the crowd.

Gail. She was stood right there, watching the whole thing. Her face blank, Andy couldn't tell what she was thinking. She willed her legs to move and headed towards her friend.

'Gail,' she said when she was a few feet away. Andy raised a hand to rest it on Gail's shoulder.

'Don't touch me' Gail said hollowly.

Andy tried again.

'I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!' Gail screamed at her.

'I'm sorry,' Andy said, 'I didn't mean for this to happen.' Nick had loped over to join them, and stood at Andy's side.

'You stay away from me,' Gail threatened, raising a hand to prevent them reaching her. 'You stay away.' She choked as she said it, and turned on her heels, walking away shakily.

Andy went to follow. She closed a few feet of the distance before Gail added, 'You don't deserve him, you _**bitch.**_'

Andy stopped. She didn't know what to say, or what to do. Gail was right. And it hurt.

She turned after a minute, and found Nick in front of her, an empty look in his eyes.

'Why, Andy?'

She said nothing.

'You told me nothing happened.' He said simply.

'I'm sorry,' was all Andy could manage.

'Sorry? After what I said to you, what I told you. You're sorry?'

She bowed her head.

'Sorry isn't enough, Andy,' he said, and walked away.

She stood alone in the yard as the crowd dispersed. Her expression was blank but inside she was crying. No one approached her, not even Oliver who had watched from afar. She was completely alone, and it hurt more than anything else.

* * *

Sam paused outside the condo to collect his thoughts. It was Marlo's day off and he presumed she would be waiting for him on the other side of the door. He hadn't seen or spoken to her since the revelation in the car lot the previous evening. He was dreading seeing her now. But he owed her an explanation and a chance to tell her side of the story at least. He knocked and held his breath until she answered. Marlo opened the door a fraction and peered out. She was wearing sweats and a tank top and her hair was a mess, piled on top of her head. She looked rough, like she hadn't slept in days,

'Hi,' she said meekly.

'Can I come in?' Sam asked.

She stepped back and opened the door fully, allowing him to slide past her into the hallway. He made his way to her bedroom and perched on the bed. The newly pink walls made his eyes hurt as he sat squinting, waiting for her to join him.

She stepped into the room tentatively. 'We need to talk, don't we?' she questioned.

'When were you planning to tell me?' he asked her.

'About my bi-polar? Probably about the same time you were planning to admit your feelings for me.' She replied.

'What?'

'I'm not stupid Sam. Yes, I should have told you about my condition. But I'm handling it. I've been handling it for years. It's not a problem. The problem is you, convincing yourself everyday that you can live a lie.'

'But you've been acting weird lately, more stressed. I figured it was because of your illness.' He suggested.

'I've been acting weird because my boyfriend has been sleeping with me while he's in love with someone else.' Marlo bit at him. 'Anyone would act weird!'

'I'm not in love with her Marlo.'

'Don't lie to be Sam, I'm not an idiot. Anyone that cares about you can see it. The moment she walks into the room your eyes follow her. You bring her up in conversation more times than I like to notice. You kiss me like you're holding something back,' she accused.

Sam sighed.

'You've been sleeping with her, haven't you?'

'No.'

She raised an eyebrow.

'Once,' he qualified.

'When?'

'Last night.' He said.

Marlo drew in a breath. She was quiet.

'Why?' she asked.

'Because she slept with Collins,' Sam replied.

'And you were jealous?'

Sam looked conflicted. He didn't say anything.

'Why are even with me Sam?'

'Because I like you,' he said simply, 'because its easy.'

She watched him closely.

'Because I couldn't have her,' he added ashamedly, looking past her.

'And there we go! The truth!' Marlo exclaimed. 'I knew it, deep down. But I kept telling myself that you wouldn't do that to me.' She paused. 'It's always been her, hasn't it?'

Sam raised his eyes to look at her, a pitiful expression on his face. 'I hate what I've done to you,' he said, pained.

Marlo slumped onto the floor, her back against the wall. He hadn't denied it.

'I'm done, Sam,' she said limply. 'I'm so done.'

He moved to comfort her, but she just closed her eyes and turned her head away.

He took one last look at the broken woman at his feet before walking through the door.

It was a restless night. For all of them.

* * *

**I really had no idea where to stop for this chapter. I'm not completely happy with it, but then it's a tough situation and tough to write. Let me know your thoughts. There's more to come from Gail next chapter! Which way will Andy finally turn? **

**Leave a review **


	5. Chapter 5

***Disclaimer* I do not own Rookie Blue.**

While the rest of them tried to sleep, Gail sat on the office chair in the lab, spinning it slowly from left to right, watching Holly work.

'I need to talk to you…to someone…..about something,' she said sheepishly.

Holly looked up from her desk.

'I guessed as much. You're very quiet today, something's eating you.'

'Is that your medical opinion?' Gail asked.

'I do forensics,' Holly remarked, 'If I was giving you a medical opinion, you'd be dead. And you're not. This is me being your friend. You look like you could use one.' She shrugged at Gail.

Gail sighed. 'It might be easier if I was.'

'Was what?'

'Dead,' Gail replied, matter of factly.

Holly smirked. 'I thought you were off men? Only a man could make you say that.'

Gail huffed. 'Why are you so wise?'

'I'm not wise, Gail, I'm gay. I have a feel for these things.' She smiled. 'What's on your mind?'

Gail took a breath and watched as Holly reassured her.

'We had to do this counselling thing, for work.' She started. 'And I sat in that office with this woman, and told her exactly how it is. And she didn't even help.'

Holly stayed quiet. She spoke after a few moments. 'Try me.'

Gail sighed. It couldn't hurt, she told herself.

'Holly…have you ever surprised yourself? Like done something so out of character that you…surprised yourself.'

'Many times.'

'I'm a very loyal person,' Gail went on. 'I am not a lot of things. I'm not really friendly, I'm not easy going. I'm not really down to earth. But I am very, very loyal.'

Holly watched her intently as she struggled on her words.

'Loyalty to the division. Loyalty to my…..friends.' She emphasised the last word like it felt wrong in her mouth. 'Loyalty to my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend' she corrected herself with a shrug of the shoulder. 'I cheated on him,' she said, looking Holly in the eye. 'Something I never thought I would do.' She sighed. 'And then yesterday, I found out he cheated on me too. Well…..you can't call it cheating because we're not actually together, but who's to say he hasn't be sleeping with her since Dakota!' Her eyes glazed over as she said the last part.

'Men are jerks,' Holly replied.

Gail forced a weak smile.

'You think I should talk to her? She asked Holly.

'Who? The friend…..that slept with your ex?'

'Yeah'.

'I think you should forget about them, and go have some fun instead!' Holly smirked.

'Forget about it? Like forgive them?'

'Yeah, whatever. They clearly didn't give you a second thought, so why should you care about them. Let them sweat. They'll realise what they've lost soon enough,' she said softly.

'Yeah, like I'm some big loss to someone like Andy!' Just saying the word made her feel sick.

'You can do better than that girl, Gail. Find some proper friends.' She said, nudging Gail's shoulder. 'Come on, lets grab a drink. I'm pretty much finished here anyway,' she said, sweeping her papers into a pile and laying on the top of a teetering stack.

'I'll try,' Gail said, 'Thanks Holly.'

'Not a problem,' Holly said, flashing her a reassuring smile that crept right into Gail's heart and sat there, heavy on her thoughts.

* * *

The next day, Gail strolled into the bullpen with her head held high, the effects of the night before still lingering above her eyes, pounding away inside her head. Too many tequilas. She made her way to the coffee bench. Chloe stood before her, offering a cup in her direction.

'You made me coffee?' Gail asked her. 'Why?'

'Because I'm nice Gail, and you look like you could use it.' Chloe replied chirpily.

'Look, Chloe, I know I haven't exactly been nice to you since you joined 15, and you know its not going to change any time soon, because, well, im not a very nice person. But….do you think you could do me a favour today?' Gail asked the bubbly officer.

'Nope. Sorry Gail. I know what it is. I'm not riding with you. I'm already partnered with Dov. I'm keeping out of it!' Chloe replied hastily, before pointing in the direction of the parade room and walking away.

Gail followed her reluctantly, knowing that Oliver was on desk that day so she had a choice of Nick, Andy, or Marlo to partner her. _Joy._

She sat through Frank's speech silently, refusing to acknowledge the whispers and glances from her colleagues around the room.

As a last minute decision, Gail chose not to check the board to see who her partner would be, but wait in the squad car and face the surprise then.

That's where she was a few minutes later when the door of the car opened and Andy slid in.

Fabulous, Gail thought to herself.

'Gail…..' Andy went to speak but Gail cut her off before she got the chance.

'Let me get one thing straight with you McNally. Today we are not friends. We are not enemies. We're not going to talk about the way you ruined my relationship by sleeping with Nick. Or how you ruined our friendship by lying about it. We're just going to go on patrol, and get through this shift as if we've never met before. I don't want to hear a single, pathetic apology come out of your mouth all day. I don't want to hear it. Is that clear?' She finished, emphasising the last few words.

'Okay,' Andy mumbled quietly.

* * *

The most horrible shift ever. That's how Andy would describe it. Patrol was quiet, so she and Peck had spent most of the day sharing awkward silence in the car. It took more strength than Andy had not to just fill the time with aimless chit chat, like she normally would. But every time she wanted to she would catch a glimpse of Gail's expression and change her mind. She didn't blame her. Andy was a horrible person. She'd been telling herself that since they'd all left her alone in the parking lot. She'd ruined it with Gail, and with Nick. And probably with Sam too. Everyone was avoiding her. Even Traci hadn't answered her calls. She tried to convince herself that they were all giving her space, to sort her head out. But in reality she knew it was because they were so shocked at her that none of them knew what to say. If she could take it all back, she would.

She'd spent the previous night playing it all through her head, over and over again. Trying to decide. Trying to work out if either of them would still want her after what she'd done. Playing the scene with Nick, followed by Sam. Then back to Nick. It hadn't helped. She was still no clearer about who she wanted than she had been two days ago.

Now, back in her condo after the day from hell with Gail, she reached for her phone.

_Can you come over? We need to talk. _ She sent, and prayed that the recipient would reply.

She waited for hours.

Nothing.

Then finally, a knock on the door. She swung it open, and he was there. Nick.

'I didn't think you'd come,' she said, thankfully.

'I didn't think I would either.'

'Come in,' She offered.

They sat side by side on the sofa.

Andy spoke first.

'So what do we do know?'

'I don't know,' Nick replied, shaking his head.

'I ruined _everything' _she said.

Nick paused. 'I'm not going anywhere,' he stated, turning to face her. 'It's a mess, I'm not gonna deny that. But what we felt the other night…that wasn't a lie, Andy. I know you're confused right now. But we got all the time in the world. You just gotta figure it out,' he said with a smile.

'Do you really mean that?' she asked, 'Even after Sam.'

'Even after Sam,' he repeated.

Andy smiled, as some of her confusion slipped away. She really didn't deserve him.

* * *

**So its only a short one. You'll have to wait to see more. Hope you like it. Leave me a review with your thoughts!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, your feedback is helping me decide where to go from here. I found it difficult to know who should 'win' after the last chapter. Who do you want Andy to be with? Tell me your thoughts!**

**This chapter is a little bit different, I wanted to try something new so it mostly follows Traci. Hope you like it! Let me know.**

***Disclaimer*: I do not own Rookie Blue. **

Traci turned her back on the filing cabinet she had been rummaging through. The cold case they were working on had just been reopened when some new leads landed on her desk that morning. Sam had sent her off to find Jerry's note out of storage. She flipped open the folder and scanned the first page. Even the sight of his handwriting still made her heart flip. Life could be so cruel sometimes.

* * *

'Hey!' she heard from behind her. 'Thought you'd be in your office?' It was Steve Peck.

'I was just on my way back,' Traci replied.

'Cold case?' Steve asked, gesturing towards the folder.

'Uh huh. New tip came in this morning. Sam asked me to chase it.' She sighed.

'Right. Look, Traci….I was wondering, if you don't have plans, if you'd like to grab lunch with me today?' he said, somewhat shyly.

'What, like a date?' she questioned.

'If you like. Doesn't have to be though, if that would make you uncomfortable?'

'It wouldn't, it's just…' Traci took a long pause. 'Can I let you know?' she said, eventually.

'Sure. No pressure,' Steve replied with a smile. He nudged her arm playfully and walked away.

* * *

Traci paused outside the men's locker room. She'd gone in search of Swarek, and she knew he was in there, she could hear him talking. Something made her stop. She leant her back against the wall, just outside the door, and tried to listen in on the conversation inside. Sam was being interrogated by none other than Oliver Shaw. Traci smiled to herself and stayed put, enjoying the squabble between the two friends. She felt the atmosphere change as Oliver lowered his voice.

* * *

'What is it Sammy?' Oliver asked.

'What?'

'That look on your face.'

'I don't have a look', Sam replied defensively, turning his head away.

'Come on man, don't give me that! Which one is it?' Oliver asked.

'What?'

'Which girl Sam? Marlo or Andy?'

'I don't know what you're talking about.' Sam said in return.

'Oh come on, one of them has put you in this god awful mood. So was it the girlfriend, or the ex?' Oliver probed.

Sam sighed heavily. 'Technically…..both.'

'Both?'

'I broke up with Marlo a few nights ago,' Sam offered.

'But I thought you were happy with her?'

Sam raised his eyebrows at his friend, 'Really? Cos I always kinda thought you were on team Andy.'

Oliver chuckled, 'Okay, well maybe I've never been the greatest fan of your recent relationship, but I have to say, I am surprised you chose to dump her now. After, you know….the whole bi-polar thing. You didn't think that maybe that might come off a bit…..cold?' Oliver suggested.

'Geee thanks for that, man. I really needed to hear that right now!' Sam scowled sarcastically at his friend.

'I'm just saying, it might not have been the best timing….what with everything that's gone down this week.'

'I know. But it was going to have to happen sometime. This just sort of….pushed me over the edge.'

Oliver was quiet. He looked at Sam, curious. 'This was an Andy thing wasn't it?'

'McNally?...No, this was a Sam thing.'

'Same difference,' Oliver quipped. He paused for a beat. 'You still like her, don't you?'

Sam didn't answer for a long time.

'I miss her, man. I wish I didn't, but I do.'

Oliver smiled knowingly back at him. 'It's all over your face brother,' he said, and slapped Sam on the back jovially. 'I'll catch you later,' he added, and headed out to the parade room.

* * *

Out in the corridor Traci moved quickly so that Oliver wouldn't see her lurking outside. She hid round the corner until he'd gone, before heading into the locker room nonchalantly and dropping the file from her hands onto the bench next to Sam. She gave him a wistful smile. 'I'll be in the office, when you're ready', she said, and left him alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Later that day, Traci grabbed the first opportunity she'd had to talk to Andy. As her best friend walked past the D's office, Traci jumped to her feet and called her name out the door. She saw Andy pause and rushed down the steps towards her, before every officer in the room turned to watch them.

'I need to talk to you,' Traci said.

'Okay. Now?' Andy asked.

Traci nodded and pointed towards an empty observation room. She hurried Andy inside and stopped to catch her breath before she said anything.

'Have you made a decision yet?' Traci started.

'About what?'

'About Sam and Nick! What else would I be talking about?' she sighed at her friend.

'Umm not really.' Andy replied, shrugging her shoulders. 'I mean, I've been thinking about it. A lot. And Nick's helped to clear my head a bit more. But I haven't made a proper decision yet.'

'Good. Because I've got something I think you're going to want to hear.' Traci grinned at her.

Andy sighed. 'More gossip? Really Trace?' she seemed exasperated with it all.

'Not gossip. This is straight from Sam himself.' Traci said proudly.

'You talked to Sam!?' Andy asked, astonished.

"No, no, no. Let me explain,' Andy looked pained but let her continue. 'I was about to take a file to Sam in the locker room this morning, and I overheard his conversation with Oliver. Sam told him two things.'

Traci paused, gauging Andy's reaction. Her face wasn't saying a lot, so she carried on.

'First, he's not with Marlo anymore.'

Still nothing.

'And second…he said he misses you.'

Andy raised an eyebrow at that.

'Oh come on!' Traci begged, 'Give me more of a reaction than that! I was expecting you to be happy. He basically admitted that he split up with Marlo because he wants you back!'

'Did he say those words?' Andy asked.

'Not as such. But it was definitely implied,' Traci tried to convince her.

'That's not enough Traci!'

'Why not?'

'Because I can't run back to Sam and give up the chance of a perfectly happy and stable relationship with Nick, just because Sam finally realised he isn't happy with Marlo. I couldn't do that to Nick. It would destroy him after all of this.' She moaned.

'Andy, listen to me. I know it's not really my place to say, but I feel like I can't step back and let you do this! Nick is a lovely guy, he's smart, he's cute, he's caring. But….do you love him?' She asked.

Andy turned her head to face her friend. She did her little one shoulder shrug.

'I don't know.'

'And do you love Sam?'

Andy brushed her hair out of her eyes and looked at the ceiling, biting her lip.

'Andy?' Traci probed.

'Yes' she whispered resignedly.

'You still love him?'

Andy nodded, trying to hide her face. Traci saw a tear fall down her cheek.

She stretch out her hand and rested it on Andy's shoulder reassuringly.

'You don't need to rush this, you know?' Traci said. 'Just because you don't know if you love Nick, it doesn't mean that you don't. It just means that you don't want to admit whether you do or not.' She smiled at Andy who buried her face in her hands

'Not helping Trace!'

'No, let me finish! Not that you are, _but, _if you _were_ to ask me…..I'd say that there is a man, sat at his desk in that office out there, thinking about you every day, loving you as much as you love him – though he wouldn't admit it.' She said with a wry smile. 'And I think you would be a fool to let that go, Andy McNally. I hesitated when things with Jerry got complicated, when I went back to Dex. And I have never regretted anything more in my life.' She felt a tear roll down her own check at that. 'I pushed Jerry away because I thought I was doing the right thing…and I didn't want to listen to anyone who told me differently. And now he's dead. And I don't want my best friend to have to feel the same way I did. So please, Andy. If you still love him…..don't let it go,' she implored of her friend. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and gave Andy a weak smile. And then she walked away.

* * *

Andy was slightly stunned. Everything Traci had said sounded so true. She did love Sam. And she probably loved Nick too, although that was a completely different league. She couldn't remember a time when she hadn't loved Sam. It had been so long. Even when she first joined the division she had liked him. And listening to Traci, she could see that Luke had just been a distraction. Something to take her mind off of trying to figure out what went on in Swarek's head. He was so stubborn. And so guarded. And he had hurt her…..more times than she wanted to remember.

Being with Nick would be easy. _So easy_. Uncomplicated. She liked him. She frowned at herself. This was sounding familiar.

She flashed back to her first week back after Dakota, when Sam had given her a lift to the Penny. And she'd asked him about Marlo.

'_Why her?'_ Sam had replied, _'We get along. And she's smart, funny. It's not complicated.'_

Wasn't that exactly how she said she felt about Nick? If it was the same, then surely it would go the same way Sam's relationship with Marlo had gone. Great at first…..but now?

Andy sighed. Deep in her heart she knew she'd already made her decision, but on the surface she still wasn't ready to admit that he'd won. That after all this time and everything he'd put her through, Sam was still coming out on top.

She walked to the door and headed out across the bullpen, throwing a glance at the D's office. _What is it with that guy being under my skin? _She asked herself, as she kept on walking. Part of her might have made a decision, but she wasn't going to give in that easily.

* * *

**Hope you like it! I think I'm gonna wrap this up soon, unless most of you don't want me to. Few more chapters to go though, so stay posted.**

**Leave me your thoughts in a review! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so much! I read all of your reviews and answer your questions where I can, so thank you! Leave me your thoughts and questions in the review box!**

* * *

Andy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She's finally decided that it was time to talk to Sam. Talk to him properly. Hear him out. She wasn't about to run back into him arms. No way. She had more self-respect than that.

* * *

Telling Nick had almost crushed her. She'd invited him round, and told him to take a seat. She's been pondering the best way to tell him for hours before he showed up, and she'd come to the conclusion that it was best to just come out and say it, rather than delay the agony. So that's what she'd done. She waited until he'd settled on the couch, and made sure she had his full attention.

'I don't really know how to say this Nick. But I figure it's much like a bandaid, as they say. Rip it off, it'll hurt less. And I'm guessing you know it's coming by now, so I'm just gonna say it,' she saw his face fall. 'I can't be with you.'

He hadn't said much, just stared blankly at her, letting it sink in. When he did speak, eventually, his words were stunted and she thought he must have been struggling to keep it together.

'I get it Andy, I do. I'm not happy about it. But I get it.'

It was simple and to the point. She thanked him silently for that. He hadn't hung about. He raised his hand to stroke her cheek and smiled poignantly at her, before he got up and left. She thought she saw a tear fall as he rushed for the door, and the thought that she'd reduced him to that killed her.

Andy had stayed on her sofa and cried silent tears. She didn't know how long she had sat there for, but it was light when he'd left and dark when she snapped out of it. She wasn't crying because she regretted her decision. She knew she was doing the right thing ultimately. She had always been told by everyone around her that she was an emotional sponge. She'd never really taken them seriously before, but in that moment, seeing the pain in Nick's eyes, she knew it was true. She felt her own pain at the prospect of her ruined relationship with one of her best friends. She felt his pain at being rejected, and his loneliness for being without Gail too. Hell, she even felt Marlo's pain, at watching someone she loved walk away. Andy had sent Nick away, and yet she still hurt. It was selfish, and that's why she cried. She cried for herself. She cried for Nick. She cried for Marlo, and for Traci, finally releasing the tears at the thought of Jerry's death that she'd held back for so long while she was trying to be strong for her friend. Then she cried for Sam. She cried because he'd lost a friend and would never get him back. She cried because he'd left her, pushed her away instead of letting her help him. She cried because he loved her.

* * *

And now she sat breathing heavily, waiting for Sam to show up. She'd asked him to meet her in the park. She didn't want to go to his place and see traces of Marlo scattered around. And she didn't want to go to hers either. It would be all too comfortable for Andy, surrounded by her familiar things, with Sam. It would be too easy to cave. So she'd opted for the park. Safe ground.

She was perched on a picnic bench, scanning the faces of the people milling around, waiting to spot him striding towards her. But so far she hadn't seen him. He was late. Not a good start for Sam.

When he finally showed up he was wearing a sheepish grin on his face.

'I'm sorry,' he offered, sitting down opposite her. 'Traffic was dire.'

Andy raised her eyebrows but didn't comment. She could tell he was lying but she didn't want to push it. If he wanted to start off lying then that was his choice, but he had to know she could see right through him, so she hoped he would tell her the truth as they talked.

'You going to tell me why I'm here then?' he asked, curious.

'To apologise, I hope,' Andy said.

He scoffed, 'Apologise? For what?'

'For your note.'

He smiled one of his boyish grins and looked away.

'You don't see a problem, do you?' she asked him.

'Look, Andy. I'm not saying I'm innocent here, but really? Apologise? That's a two way street McNally! You slept with Collins the night before that.'

'Sam you practically forced yourself on me that night, then deserted me in my own bed so you could run back to your girlfriend and break her heart without a second thought.'

'I didn't hear you complaining at the time.'

'Grow up.' She shot back at him.

'McNally, I didn't want to leave you that morning. I just knew it would be a million times worse if I didn't sort things with Marlo straight away. I mean, I kind of took it as a sign that we were getting back together when you asked me to be with you that night. I'm sorry if I read the signals wrong?' he ranted.

Andy blushed at the memory of her murmuring it against his lips.

'Yeah well that was a heat of the moment thing,' she said defensively. 'What I'm more worried about is the fact that you didn't even break up with her right away. You worked a whole shift and then told her after. I might be able to understand why you left in such a hurry that morning if you'd actually gone striahgt round there and told her,' she threw at him.

He looked a bit shocked at her outburst.

'Andy, its not like I planned to have sex with you and then delay it a day before telling Marlo. I told her the first chance I got. I could hardly stroll up to her in parade and tell her then, could I!?'

'You made me feel cheap.'

He raised his eyes to meet hers as she said that. He could see pools of tears threatening to escape as he watched her. She brushed her hands against them and took a deep breath, bracing herself.

'You are anything but cheap, Andy.'

'And that's supposed to make me feel better? I slept with two guys in two days. Does that sound like the Andy McNally you know? Because it sounds like a whore to me.' She mused, more to herself than to him.

Sam reached out and covered her hand with his on the table.

'It's not like it was random guys McNally. Collins is your friend, well, colleague – with benefits. And you love me. That doesn't make you cheap.' Sam defended her.

She blushed and buried her face in her hands hastily.

'Come on Andy, this is me you're talking to. I know you. I see the way you look at Collins, and it's not the same. He doesn't make your heart flutter and you knees shake. You don't tremble when he runs his hands over you.' Sam probed, tracing patterns on her arm as he spoke.

She pulled her arm back and composed herself. Rubbing away the goosebumps his touch had caused.

'Just because you broke up with Marlo, and sort of apologised for the other day, doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you Sam.' She said sternly.

'I was gathering that much, McNally. You always were strong-minded. But like I said before you left for Dakota….I love you. I know it now more than I ever did before. And I'm even more determined to show you just how much by making those dinners, taking out your garbage, rubbing your feet, anything you ask, I'll do it.'

'I don't want you to do any of those things Sam,' Andy said stoically. 'None of it will help.'

'Well then what can I do? Tell me Andy, because I'm going out of my mind over here, wondering what it's going to take to get you back.'

'Trust,' she said simply.

'Trust?' he repeated, raising an eyebrow at her.

'I need to know I can trust you. Trust you to stay, and not leave me when it gets tough. Trust you not to find somebody else just because it's easier. Trust you to be there when I need you. Trust you to love me, no matter what. And right now, I don't trust you to do any of that.' Andy shrugged and dropped her eyes from his.

Sam got up from his side of the bench and moved round to sit next to her. He took her face in his hands and rubbed his thumbs along her cheeks.

'Andy McNally, I love you more than you could ever understand. I know I make it hard, and that I don't always show it, but I really do Andy. So if you'll let me, I want to teach you to trust me again, because if that's what it takes to get you back, then that's what I'll do.'

He leaned forwards and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. She didn't resist him but she didn't kiss him back.

'Good,' she told him when he let her go.

'Does that mean we're back together?'

'No.'

Sam sighed and ran his hand over his face and through his hair.

'I need to see it Sam. I'm not gonna lie, I do want to be with you. But we can't rebuild a relationship on nothing. We have to be friends before we can be together, and the past few weeks we haven't even been that! Give it time Sam. Show me I can trust you. Let me get over what I've just done to Nick, smooth things out in the office. It's going to be awkward, especially with Gail. I need to deal with that on my own. I can't put a relationship with you in the mix as well.'

He nodded, a slightly pained look on his face at the prospect of weeks without her.

'I know what you're thinking,' she smiled at him teasingly. 'I'm thinking it to. That's why we're here and not at my condo. We don't have enough control for that yet!' she laughed a little at the look on his face, he was clearly reliving their night together. 'It was never just about the sex Sam. And that's what I want to get back to.'

He nodded again, reluctantly.

She smiled. 'I'll see you tomorrow, at work,' she said as she moved to go home.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

'Can I at least have a kiss goodbye, to keep me going?' he asked cheekily, smiling a huge dimply grin at her.

She pressed her lips to his without saying a word. He pulled her closer, his hand on her back, pressing her body against his. Andy slowly and teasingly ran her tongue over his lips, dipping into his mouth so he could taste her, biting his lip gently with her teeth, driving him crazy.

She pulled back before she got carried away. She would see him at work.

And she walked away.

* * *

**Let me know what you think! **

**Just want to say a big thank you to: Kou Shun'u, bellapaige88, jh126, and bacio4hope who review every chapter I post in this story. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support! Steffie xo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Firstly I just want to apologise for how long it has taken me to get this chapter up! I went on vacation and then got smacked with deadlines for everything. No excuse I know. I'm really really sorry to keep you waiting! Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.**

* * *

Andy woke up to the familiar scent of Sam on the pillow beneath her face. She stretched nonchalantly for a few moments, before realising what the smell meant. She was in Sam's bed. She bolted upright and looked around her. Sam was asleep, snoring softly next to her. The room was tidy, no clothes strewn across the floor, as there normally would be after a heated night together. She looked down and found she was still wearing the sweats and t-shirt she'd had on the previous night. She sighed in relief. She had been determined not to sleep with Sam again until he had proven himself to her, and waking up naked in his bed would have signalled failure immediately. But she was fully clothed, which was a good sign.

A few months had passed since their talk in the park, and to give Sam his credit, he had been putting in a lot of effort to show Andy that she could trust him and that they'd be good together again. Andy was still unconvinced though. She'd go for days where everything seemed perfect. Sam would be the perfect gentleman, polite, helpful, caring, thoughtful. And then he'd do something like assign her to desk duty at work when they had a bust coming up. She knew it was his way of showing her he was trying to protect her, but Andy needed him to see that she could take care of herself. It was a petty thing really, in the grand scheme of things, but it bugged her. And Andy wanted everything to be just right before she committed to a relationship with him again. So if that meant they took time to even out the little creases she was prepared to do so. Persuading Sam to do the same was more difficult.

* * *

As had often been the case with Sam, his mind wasn't always what he led with in intimate situations with Andy, and he was finding it incredibly hard to keep his hands off of her all the time. She'd laid down the ground rules that she wouldn't let him touch her until the time was right, but Sam was getting more and more frustrated every day. Especially when she showed up in the evenings at his house with a bottle of wine to 'talk', and sat so close to him on the sofa that their arms would brush. Just the slightest contact would throw his mind back to the endless nights of mind-blowing sex he'd shared with her, and his heart would beat so fast at the thought that he'd have to keep getting up to fetch some water or go to the toilet, just so she didn't notice how effected her was by her touch. A few months down the line and he was getting pretty desperate. But he'd stuck to her rules. She'd fallen asleep on his sofa the last night, and he'd carried her into the bedroom and curled up behind her under the covers. Surely it wouldn't hurt to spoon her when she was already asleep? He just wanted to be close to her.

When they woke the next morning Sam couldn't help but smile at Andy as she hurriedly checked her clothes were still in place and nothing had happened between them. When she'd finally collected her thoughts enough to realise he was awake and watching her, Andy smiled and turned herself to face him.

'Sam, instead of going to the Penny for drinks after work tonight, would you mind if we came back to your place instead?'

Sam's heart pounded and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat without her noticing. She wanted to come back here. His mind raced ahead to what he hoped she meant by that.

'Umm sure, yeah. If that's what you want.'

'Good', Andy smiled at him. 'You've got some tequila right? There's a game I want to play.'

'A game?' Sam questioned probingly.

'Yeah. Don't look so worried, it'll be fun,' she replied with a wink and made her way towards the lounge room in search of her shoes. Sam was still lead in bed, burying his face in his pillow and frowning at the prospect of a game, tequila, and McNally in the same sentence. It sounded like torture, not fun.

* * *

That evening Andy settled her self on the floor opposite Sam, a cushion under her bum so it didn't go numb, and his coffee table between them.

'It's simple,' she said, pouring them both a shot of tequila. 'I say something like 'I have never been abroad', and if you've done whatever I say you've got to drink and tell me the story behind it.'

'You wanna play I have never? Are you kidding me?' Sam asked, genuinely surprised at her.

'You know the game? Great, you'll be good at it then,' she said, avoiding his sarcasm. This was the easiest way she knew of finding stuff out about him without playing twenty questions. And she could ask the tougher questions once they'd both had a few shots to drink. That was Andy's plan anyway.

'Do you want to start?' she asked him. Sam shook his head and gestured that she should go ahead. 'Fine. I have never been on a motorbike.'

Sam reached for his shot and swigged it back, replacing the glass on the table with a bang. This was going to be a long night.

Andy was looking at him expectantly for the story behind his shot.

Sam huffed and started to mumble. 'When I was still in the academy, Jerry showed up one day on a bike, trying to show off. He said he'd bought it off a friend of his. It wasn't anything special, but he was all confident and boasting about it for days. So one day Noelle and I decided to take him down a few notches. We pinched the key to the bike one night when he was asleep and took it for a ride, me driving, Noelle on the back. We figured we'd park it somewhere else when we finally drove it back. The next morning Jer woke up and thought it'd been stolen when he couldn't find it. Everyone ripped him to pieces with jokes for days. You know, a trainee cop getting his bike nicked from under his nose, it was great material. He was so reluctant to file a report, knowing how much our trainers would laugh at him. Luckily he didn't because he found it about a week later, right where Noelle and I had left it. He's never really lived it down,' Sam said, a smirk on his face by the end of the tale. Andy smiled back, genuinely impressed that he had confessed something like that, and about Jerry as well. Sam never spoke about Jerry.

Sam reached for the bottle of tequila and refilled his glass. 'I have never….' He began, giving it a long pause to think it through thoroughly, 'been in a hot tub.'

Andy raised an eyebrow, 'Really? Never?'

'Nope'.

'Hmmm' Andy mumbled, knocking back her tequila. 'Well I've been in a hot tub many times. Most of which aren't worth repeating. But there was this one time when Traci and I went to a spa, and we were sat in the hot tub, eyes closed, relaxing. Next thing we know there's someone getting in with us, and its this old man, speedos and a beer belly, already gawking at us before he's even sat down.'

'Gross Andy!' Sam said, appalled at the image running through his head.

'What? We never said they had to be nice stories.' She said with a mischievous grin.

They continued like that for a while, asking each other ridiculous questions and laughing at the even more ridiculous stories that followed. The tequila bottle was gradually starting to empty. Andy picked her moments with the heavy questions, and was about to ask him another one when Sam lowered the tone completely.

'I have never had sex in a park' he asked her.

If she hadn't been tipsy she probably would have been shocked, but as it happened Andy couldn't do anything but laugh. 'Oh, so that's how you want to play it huh?' She giggled and reached for her shot glass, watching as Sam's eyebrows rose faster than ever before at the thought that she'd actually done it. She laughed again and stuck her tongue out at him.

'I might be adventurous but I'm not indecent.'

'I've never had sex in my parents' house,' Andy said proudly. Sam raised his eyebrows once again. 'What, never? Really?' he asked, clearly surprised. 'Not even when you were a teenager and desperately trying to get in your boyfriend's pants?' he said with a smile on his lips. Andy punched him playfully on the arm. 'Why does that shock you?' she asked him. Sam shrugged and shook his head. 'I always went to his house,' Andy jibed after a few moments. Her thoughts had travelled back to her first proper boyfriend. Charles Collet. Far too posh, far too intelligent, far too desperate not to be left behind by the other boys in the girlfriend department. Andy had taken pity on him. He was a nice enough guy, he spoilt her and wouldn't let her pay for anything. Ever. And Andy liked him enough to sleep with him. The differences between Charles and Sam in bed were astounding. Sam had made her come more times in one night than Charles had ever done in a whole year of sex. Thinking about it, the way she was attracted to Sam, he could probably make Andy come without even touching her. Now that would be an interesting experiment to try.

A loud bang snapped Andy out of her somewhat inappropriate thoughts. Sam had banged the bottle against the table to get her attention. She coughed and shook her head to clear her mind. Gathering herself she asked, 'Are you drinking or not?' gesturing for Sam to raise his glass. 'Not,' Sam replied. Andy looked confused. 'I only lived with my parents until I was ten. I don't think a foster home counts, and you only specified parents houses so I'm not drinking.' Andy huffed at him, disappointed that she wouldn't get to hear a story. Sam chuckled in return.

'I have never faked an orgasm' Sam stated.

Andy blushed and raised her glass to her lips. Sam stared at her, a hint of panic in his eyes. 'Not with you,' Andy mumbled quickly, but didn't say any more.

'Who?' Sam asked. 'Callaghan?' A smug grin crept across his face at the thought of Andy's ex being unable to satisfy her. She avoided eye contact and glared at the floor begging it to swallow her up so she didn't have to face him. 'Well?' Sam probed. Andy sighed. 'A few different guys actually. No one in particular worth mentioning, but they could all do with some practice, that's for sure!' she added the last bit to try and make it less uncomfortable to recall. Sam grimaced at her response. She watched him closely as he processed the information. 'And Callaghan?' he asked her. Andy raised an eyebrow. 'Did you fake it for him?' Sam chuckled. Andy blushed furiously, turning so red she knew she must look ridiculous. Sam nudged her to elicit an answer. Andy nodded and Sam burst into fits of laughter, hardly able to control himself. 'Sam, please. It was only one time! You can't tell anyone! Luke would be mortified if he found out, and so would I!' Sam zipped his fingers across his lips and continued to giggle at the thought.

They were both quite a few more shots down and they were feeling the effects greatly. Andy reached for the tequila bottle but was struggling to fill her glass, her hands were wobbly. Sam scooted round to her side of the table and took the bottle from her grip, letting his fingers linger on hers. Andy held her breath, looking him straight in the eye. She could see the desire in his onyx black orbs, staring longingly back at her. She turned her gaze down to her lap and fiddled with her fingers, acutely aware that Sam had leaned in closer, she could feel his breath in her face.

'I have never felt sparks when I touched anyone but you,' he whispered to her. Andy gasped and realised she'd been holding her breath since he'd touched her. Her mind was going foggy with him so close to her. She couldn't smell anything but him, she looked up and he was all she could see. 'Sam….' Andy stuttered feebly, 'it's not your turn.' It was the only coherent sentence she could force out of her mouth. Sam reached for her glass and raised to towards her. 'I don't care,' he replied and stared at her intently, daring her to drink the shot. They were both very still. Andy closed her eyes and brought her hand up to rest on Sam's wrist. She felt the sparks he was talking about immediately. It was like a heat that burned beneath her skin the moment she made contact with him. The more of her skin that touched him the hotter she got, until she couldn't stand it anymore. But right now it was only her hand. Her hand on his arm. And it was already too much. She pushed gently, lowering his wrist towards the table until she heard the clonk of the glass against the tabletop. Andy turned slowly so that she was facing Sam, and ever so gently leaned closer so her lips were almost touching his.

'I have never…been so scared to kiss a man before.' She whispered. Sam flinched and tried to recoil from her, but Andy gripped her hand in his shirt and pulled him closer. 'I'm scared because I know that the moment I kiss you there's no going back. And I don't want to end up crying in a parking lot with a broken heart all over again,' she breathed at him softly. Sam's response was so quiet she almost didn't hear him. But although he said it quietly he said it with more feeling than Andy thought was possible to put into two words. 'You won't.' The combination of the look on his face and the emotion in his voice told her everything she needed to know. This man loved her, and although he may not say it as often as he should, Andy knew that from now on it wouldn't matter. They were both pretty drunk but even still she could read the love in his eyes, and that was good enough for her. She pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, keeping her eyes open to watch his reaction. Sam melted into her, and Andy knew that this man, rough around the edges and by no means perfect, was perfect for her. He would always hold a place in her heart.

* * *

**So that's it guys, this is as far as I'm planning to take this story. I know most of you probably weren't expecting it to end here, but right now I'm so wrapped up in the current story line that I don't know how well I can right for this story. So I'm leaving it here. If I get enough reviews asking me to carry on I will, but if not then thank you all for reading and reviewing. I'm sure I'll be writing some more fics after the season finale because its bound to be disappointingly unfulfilling, so look out for those!**

**Steffie xoxo**


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